Joeology.com
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Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says “I love New York” in Arabic.

The following is Robin Williams’ plan for Peace ………

He says……..

“I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here’s one plan.”

1) “The US will apologize to the world for our “interference” in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those “good ‘ole’ boys”, we will never “interf ere” again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany , South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don’t want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They’re illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself and don’t hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don’t need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign “students” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don’t attend classes, they get a “D” and it’s back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

I f there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not “interfere.” They can pray to Allah o r whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us “Ugly Americans” any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH..learn it…or LEAVE…Now, isn’t that a winner of a plan?

“The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.” She’s got a baseball bat and she’s yelling, ‘you want a piece of me?’ ”

My office is across the driveway from my home, and three days a week, when my beautiful wife Jill loads the kids in our mini-van to take them to pre-school - I run down from my office to kiss the girls goodbye.

This morning my wife asked me “Do I Look Fat” ?

Now, lets forget the fact that, as I define beauty, she is the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever met.

And lets ignore the fact that she’s a little tiny thing.

Not only is the question itself foolish, just the ASKING of the question is foolish.

I mean really!

If I wanted to get divorced – I’d just hire another lawyer!

In fact she isn’t fat – she’s just had two children in the past 4 years and taking care of them (and me) doesn’t leave her the time for exercise that she has had for the first 35 years of her life. (She’s always been a health and fitness nut.)

But I got to thinking about the question.

1.) If she thinks she looks fat, when I tell her she’s not - she won’t really believe me , will she ?

2.) If I thought she actually DID look fat, does she really think I would SAY SO?

3.) If she really think she looks fat, ad I tell her she doesn’t look fat, then won’t she now think that I routinely lie to her – and if I’m lying about that am I lying about other things?

So…… Honesty aside, there is no right answer. The truth doesn’t even matter, if your wife asks this question, you’re screwed !

Marriage is great, but it never stops being complicated.

Why ANOTHER blog ?

I blog as part of my job at Microsoft. (www.JoeOn.net and http://blogs.msdn.com/JoeStagner), so why would I start, yet another blog? It’s not like I have copious amounts of free time. My career, my wife, my two beautiful children, my home all vie for my time.

Still, even at only 45 years of age I’ve lived a life of a million miles. I’ve made many, many mistakes and have not only survived, but changed and flurished. I live a very happy life and am often told that I should write a book to share my experiences.

Instead of a book I’ll write this blog.

It will be my thoguhts, opinions, and feelings. It will not be politically correct, but it will be politically charged.

Feel free to comment.